haha.. nothing to talk about, so just update on a small talk with GENIE yesterday night..

we talked about relationship. talked about past relationship. haha. let me think back a lot. i still remembered how hard i cried in the past.. LOLX..

GENIE: 你有没有想他?
ME: 会啦，有时候.

GENIE: 你喜欢他吗?
ME: ya, but maybe i love freedom more.
GENIE: maybe 你喜欢他, but 你不够爱他.

hmm, maybe genie is right bahz.. indeed i hurt him a lot.. all of a sudden think of him...

lao ma, where are you?!?!??!?! really miss your shoulder.......

sobsob...

its been a bad day...

our house heater spoilt!!! can u believe it?? in such a cold weather and our heater is not working!! WTH!! got no choice but to boil water to bath.. HELLO, you cant expect me to bath in the freaking cold freezing water... confirm will catch a cold..

for dont know what reason, sometimes when i wake up in the morning, my nose will bleed.. hai.. whats happening to me sia.. everything is just so sian..

disappearing from everyones' life....

really bored...
damn bored...
FREAKING bored...

hmm.. been listening to this song.. and i love it..
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART by DHT. heres the lyrics..

I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I
get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices that want to be heard.
So much to mention but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind.

missing who???? ... hai...

been chatting to quite a lot of people. one of them i remebered is bear.. he asked this question:
why cant the two people be together when they understand each other?

to me, if you understand each other that well, it might not work out. but at the same time, if both parties dont understand each other, it will fail also. its like so contridicting!!! bear always mention that, love is not complicated, its human who are complicated.. hmm, maybe he's right bahz???

been hearing a lot of those love love thoery. ya, we all understand them, know them.. but its hard to do it in real life!! and i guess im a FAILURE in that bahz.. dont ask me why.. i just felt that way.. poeple who knows me say im very straight forward.. sometimes too straight forward. but, when it comes to relationship, im kind of draggyyyy... i wont tell that someone if i like him.. haha.. some of you might be laughing at me bahz.. but, when u are laughing, have you been like me also??? keep your feelings inside and the opposite party will never know!! haha..

ok lahz.. i think im too naggy today.. i must have bored all of you, but something are just best said out rather than bottling all inside.. ITS BAD FOR HEALTH, YOU KNOW!! haha...

missing you.... lots lots....

haha.. early in the morning.. lame together with Cher Guan a.k.a CG. he changed his nick to be exactly the same as mine.. even the display picture too.. LOLX!!! hmm.. and we started our evil pranks on GENIE!!! haha.. shes like so PEK CHEK as she cant differentiate the two of us.. oh.. by the way.. he even changed the font colour, size and type to be the same as mine also!!! ok lahz, thats a bit of appetizer to start the BORING day...

hmm.. quite a busy day today as our RO (reporting officer) told us there will be a meeting at 2pm. THEREFORE, I NEED TO RUSH OUT THE SEQUENCE DIAGRAMS... lucky jonathan and justin is all ready to start work, if not i will start to KPKB them.. LOLX.. ok, i shall not be too vulgar...

we talked quite a lot for the past few days.. ya.. a lot of craps and rubbish, and of course some decent topic??? LOLX.. enjoyed the chats, it keeps me entertained and, yupz, hmm.. don't know how to describe the feeling.. haha...

AR!!! I MISS SINGAPORE ALOT..
THE CONNECTION SPEED
MY BED
MY FAMILY
MY LESES
MY LAO MA
THE SUN
KBOX
BOWLING
ROLLER BLADING
ICE SKATING
GAMING!!!!!
FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha.. i think im going crazy le.. but cant be blame.. the people here all sot sot le, and ya, influence is a KILLER!! LOLX...

p.s:the weather here is getting FREAKING COLD!!!! help!!!!

been to china for about 1 month le bahz. i can say that, yupz, im used to the envoirnment here le; be it the people here, the culture here, the blah blah here.. LOLX..

something makes me very SIAN is WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there are a lot of things to do but sometimes i just can't find the mood to do so.. when you got the mood to do work, it doesn't mean that your team mates are. that's the hard part of having to do group work and you will tend to get irritated over this matter.. but i will overcome all this?!?!?!?!?! haha... these are just some of the common problems when doing group work bahz, its unavoidable! =)

not being feeling very good (emotionally) for the past few weeks.. im lucky bahz, as in i got my dearest LAO MA to accompany me over MSN to have some heart-to-heart chatting.. if he's not been there for me, i don't know how long will i need to get over it.. you are the BEST in my heart! ^^V as promised, when i get back to singapore, lets meet up!! hehe...

sorting out all my feelings le.. i think all i can say is SORRY.. although its useless to say SORRY, i doubt there's anything i can do for you. think it will be easier for you if i just disappear from your life.. people can say im heartless or whatever, i don't care, at least im honest to my own feeling. i believe you can find a better one for you have a great characteristic. haha.. ya, imbeen contridicting here.. hes such a nice guy then why all these happen?? YUPZ, he may be a very nice guy, but it just don't suit me???? (think i will be getting a lot of comments here bahz.. LOLX)

ok lahz.. there's nothing much i can talk about le.. i will put all these behind me and continue to look forward..

i don't know what to say.
i don't know what to do.
can someone tell me?

The first secret? The power of THOUGHT.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what wethink about. Loving thoughts create lovingexperiences and loving relationships. Affirmationscan change our beliefs and thoughts aboutourselves and others. If we want to love someone,we need to consider their needs and desires.

The second secret? the power of GIVING.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do isgive it! The more love you give, the more you willreceive. To love is to give of you, freelyand unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness.Before committing to a relationship, ask not whatthe other person will be able to give to you, butrather what will you be able to give them. Thesecret formula of a happy, lifelong, lovingrelationship is to always focus on what you cangive instead of what you can take.

The third secret? the power of RESPECT.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless youfirst respect them. The first person you need torespect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respectask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" Togain respect for others, even those you maydislike, ask yourself "What do I respect aboutthem?"

The fourth secret? the power of FRIENDSHIP.
To find a true love, you must first find a truefriend. Love does not consist of gazing into eachother's eyes, but rather looking outward together inthe same direction. To love someone completely youmust love them for who they are, not what theylook like. Friendship is the soil through whichlove's seeds grow. If you want to bring love intoa relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The fifth secret? the power of LETTING GO.
If you love something, let it free. If it comesback to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it neverwas. Even in a loving relationship, people needtheir own space. If we want to learn to love, we must firstlearn to forgive and let go of past hurts andgrievances. Love means letting go of our fears,prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let goof all my fears, the past has no power over me -today is the beginning of a new life."

The sixth secret? the power of COMMUNICATION.
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly,life changes. To love someone is to communicatewith them. Let the people you love know that youlove them and appreciate them. Never be afraid tosay those three magic words: "I Love You." Neverlet an opportunity pass to praise someone. Alwaysleave someone you love with a loving word - itcould be the last time you see them! If you wereabout to die but could make telephone calls to thepeople you loved, who would you call, what wouldyou say and ... why are you waiting?

The seventh secret? the power of COMMITMENT.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must becommitted to it, and that commitment will bereflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitmentis the true test of love. If you want to haveloving relationships, you must be committed toloving relationships. When you are committed tosomeone or something, quitting is never an option.Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationshipfrom a strong one.

The Eight secret? The power of PASSION.
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lastingpassion does not come through physical attractionalone; it comes from deep commitment,enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion canbe recreated by recreating past experiences whenyou felt passionate. Spontaneity andsurprises produce passion. The essence of love andhappiness are the same; all we need to do is tolive each day with passion.